Tag: trauma

A New Way to Heal Your Own Trauma Through Self-Parenting: Audiobook Now Available

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My toxic girly thoughts told me I should just put this information on my website and not make a big deal about it. After all, isn’t this boasting? Then my resilience kicked in and said, “You worked hard to write this book—so shout about it!”

What’s All the Fuss About?

My most recent book on trauma, Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting: The Codependency Connection, was released in 2012, and I just learned it is now available as an audiobook. Healing Trauma was truly inspired by my patients and workshop attendees who often lamented that they were “getting worse” as they delved into trauma literature because they couldn’t navigate their responses—their triggers.

Healing Trauma was my response. It is a pivotal book that focuses both on what trauma is and on what you can do now to begin to heal through managing your triggers.

Since its publication, many of you have shared with me how this book launched you on your journey of healing.

Now your healing can take place anywhere.

There is a new assist for all of you who find yourselves in your cars or who just prefer to be read to instead of doing the reading: Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting: The Codependency Connection is available as an audiobook. And if you purchase the Kindle version through Amazon.com, you can also get the Audible audiobook for a significantly reduced price*.

I learned about the audiobook version of Healing Trauma through a thank-you note from JM, one of the listeners who wrote to thank me for sharing “. . . the best book and most helpful book I have ever read (in this case, listened to) on this important, and very relevant to me, subject.”

You might wonder why it took a note from a listener to inform me that I have an audiobook, but when you sign a publishing contract, the publisher puts your book out there, and you don’t always know where.

That’s why I need you!

Thank YOU!

Your notes, emails, and comments when I speak are so important to me, and they provide valuable information such as JM’s email illustrated. They inspire me to keep trying to figure out how to make healing accessible to all. So thank you! We make a good team . . . keep letting me know what you think, feel, and what you find out!

If you’d like to listen to Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting: The Codependency Connection and start on your own path to healing, here’s the link:
http://www.audible.com/pd/Self-Development/Healing-Trauma-Through-Self-Parenting-Audiobook/B00BFDO21Y/ref=a_search_c4_1_6_srTtl?qid=1434491726&sr=1-6

If you’d like to read the Kindle* version and take advantage of the discounted audiobook bundle pricing, here’s the link: http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Trauma-Through-Self-Parenting-Co-Dependency/dp/B00BFDECDC/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=8-1&qid=1434838669

*If you don’t own a Kindle, you can download a free app to use on your Apple, Android, or Window devices.

Enjoy, and remember to let me know what you think!

Remember, you’ll find more ideas for getting rid of your negative self-talk in my latest book, The Girly Thoughts 10-Day Detox Plan: The Resilient Woman’s Guide to Saying NO to Negative Self-Talk and YES to Personal Power.

How I Overcame My Anxiety in Grand Island, Nebraska

@drogorman
www.patriciaogorman.com
facebook page

“If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough.”
—Ellen Johnson Sirleaf

I was walking my dog this morning when a neighbor asked me where I’ve been. “I didn’t see you last week,” she offered.

“I was in Nebraska,” I proudly shared, “in the land of strong prairie women, speaking about not only trauma and addiction, but also about girly thoughts!”

When she learned I’d spoken to close to 175 people in each group, she was surprised and flustered, adding she could never speak in front of a group.

Interesting, I thought as I considered how I do address groups of all sizes.

If You’re Going to Dream, Dream Big!

“I let my passion for my topic help me get through any anxiety,” I shared. And as you know, I have plenty of passion about not only how you and I as women are unconsciously internalizing societal standards—which can be traumatic and drive us to drink—but also how you and I can fight these messages in our own toxic, inner dialogue that I’ve named girly thoughts.

To learn more about what I said in Grand Island, Nebraska, and about the reaction of both men and women in the audience, read the article that appeared in The Independent, and let me know what you think.

http://www.theindependent.com/news/local/strong-doesn-t-mean-unfeminine/article_33ae6efe-efb2-11e4-85f4-bfc0648557e8.html

Join Me—Next Stops:

  • New York City, NY: May 17, 1:30 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. “The Big Apple: Leadership and Girly Thoughts.”
  • Worchester, MA: June 11, 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. “Girly Thoughts and Addiction.”
  • Lake Placid, NY: July 11, 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. Book signing at Bookstore Plus.

You’ll find more ideas for getting rid of your negative self-talk in my latest book, The Girly Thoughts 10-Day Detox Plan: The Resilient Woman’s Guide to Saying NO to Negative Self-Talk and YES to Personal Power

Coming to Grand Island with NO Girly Thoughts

Patricia O’Gorman, PhD
@drogorman
facebook
www.patriciaogorman.com

Have you ever gotten something really wrong? Have you ever based your conclusions on little fact and many feelings, and as a result you painted a truly erroneous picture for yourself of what you were dealing with?

I know I have, and recently.

My latest error didn’t begin with misunderstanding a Facebook post, or by reading too much into a quizzical look from a neighbor. No, it began with an invitation to speak to a group on the subjects of trauma and addiction, and to do an evening presentation for women on girly thoughts.

How did I feel? This invitation made me happy! So far so good—but I had never heard of the location: Grand Island, Nebraska . . . and this is where I made a mistake. I did what many of us do: I filled in my lack of information with my fantasies.

Using Fantasies Instead of Reality

And such fun fantasies I had. The “island” in the name conjured images for me of the Caribbean, or Nantucket, beautiful islands in the sea. But I knew there was no sea in the middle of our country (at least I got that right). I thought maybe there is a lake with a small island in it. Yes, in this small town, there is a lake with a little island in it. I thought, How sweet. I pictured the people of this prairie community as so optimistic for wanting an island, for naming their town not just any ole’ island name, but Grand Island.

I was so wrong. Not only is Grand Island not a quaint small town, but it is a major metropolitan area— in fact, it’s the third-largest city in the state! And it is on an island in a very large river!

But my whole inner process began my process of thinking about how easy it is to jump to conclusions about so many things, from geography to our girly thoughts.

Girly Thoughts = Major Wrong Assumptions

Years ago, I heard the expression, When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me; making assumptions is easy to do, yet so harmful. So don’t do this with your girly thoughts. Instead:

  • call them out for what they are—a toxic self-talk.
  • jot down which girly thoughts keep coming to mind so you can figure out how to target these girly thoughts in particular.
  • help your friends identify their girly thoughts.

Coming to Grand Island to Speak About Girly Thoughts, and Trauma + Addiction

Yes, I’ll be in Grand Island on April 30, and hope you can join me. For more information, visit my website: www.patriciaogorman.com.

Next stops:

  • Grand Island, NE: April 30, I’ll be giving a workshop on “Trauma” from 8:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m., and a speech over dinner titled “Girly Thoughts” from 7:00 to 8:00 p.m.
  • New York City, NY: May 17, 1:30 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. “The Big Apple: Leadership and Girly Thoughts.”
  • Worchester, MA: June 11, 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. “Girly Thoughts and Addiction”
  • Lake Placid, NY: July 11, 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. Book signing at Bookstore Plus

You’ll find more ideas for getting rid of your negative self-talk in my latest book, The Girly Thoughts 10-Day Detox Plan: The Resilient Woman’s Guide to Saying NO to Negative Self-Talk and YES to Personal Power

Sexual Politics in a Brief Encounter…NO Girly Thoughts Allowed

Patricia O’Gorman, PhD

@drogorman

facebook.com/drpatriciaogorman

www.patriciaogorman.com

Sexual politics run deep in our responses, even in casual meetings. We act like dutiful little girls in our responses, and in an almost instinctive reaction, we do to ourselves what society has taught us to do. This reaction, which I’ve named girly thoughts, is one I fight against, and I’ve coined the term and literally written the book!

I was in a restaurant yesterday in the small town where I live when a man entered and approached me. He smiled and said, “I saw your profile in Strictly Business,” pause, “ and it was good.”

I stood so at least he wouldn’t be looking down at me, but then I almost did that girly thing—you know, the shrug, the modest “Oh, it was nothing,” statement accompanied by a smile and a giggle. Doing so would have taken away his compliment and my power. Instead, I did something that is still uncomfortable for me but is a much more honest reflection of how I feel: I looked at him directly, smiled, and thanked him.

The Subtle Dance

My reaction to his compliment seemed to surprise him. He quickly told me he had been profiled in the same magazine. That was nice to know, but that isn’t why he shared the information; he wanted me to know I didn’t have anything up on him. Then he felt it necessary to state that of course his wife had been profiled in the women’s edition.

Keeping in mind the subtle dance of societal expectations that is part of so many of our daily encounters, I decided his message here was not terribly subtle. He is a businessman, but his wife and I only qualify for special treatment in the women’s edition. I almost laughed.

Don’t Let Your Girly Thoughts Stop You from Receiving a Compliment

Is he a bad guy? No. He’s a community leader, an active volunteer, someone who I may even work with on a community need we began discussing. But he is a male schooled in seeing women a certain way, and I somewhat unbalanced him by not playing along.

I found not only his reaction striking but also my strong tug to do this dance with him. What should you do when you next encounter this type of subtle sexism that feeds your girly thoughts? In the words of that old song: Don’t Dance.

So what should women do when we are presented with a compliment?

  • Accept it, don’t talk it away.
  • Stand up straighter; you’ve just been seen.
  • Let sink in, and use it to empower you to do more great things.

When you’re stressed from going through a day filled with this type of tension, don’t anesthetize yourself with that beer or glass of wine, but instead, figure out the best way to fight your girly thoughts.

If you’d like to see my profile that caused such a stir, visit Strictly Business (http://www.sbmonthly.com/pubs/#22), and watch for future blogs on the impact of being  a ‘cover girl’, this time for professional reasons.

Next stops:

  • TONIGHT: SUNY Potsdam, Potsdam, NY, April 16, 7-8:30 p.m., I’ll be speaking about: Freeing Yourself From Your Girly Thoughts in the Fireside Lounge, Barrington Student Union
  • Schenectady, NY, The Electric City: April 18, 1:00 p.m. to 2:30 p.m. Book signing at The Open Door Bookstore.
  • Grand Island, NE: April 30: I’ll be giving a workshop on “Trauma” from 8:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m., and a speech over dinner titled “Girly Thoughts” from 7:00 to 8:00 p.m.
  • New York City, NY: May 17, 1:30 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. “The Big Apple: Leadership and Girly Thoughts.”
  • Worchester, MA: June 11, 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. “Girly Thoughts and Addiction”
  • Lake Placid, NY: July 11, 3:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. Book signing at Bookstore Plus

You’ll find more ideas for getting rid of your negative self-talk in my latest book, The Girly Thoughts 10-Day Detox Plan: The Resilient Woman’s Guide to Saying NO to Negative Self-Talk and YES to Personal Power