How to Fight Girly Thought #1 I’m Fat– Tell Your Body You Love Her

By Patricia O’Gorman, PhD

Author of
The girly thought 10 Day Detox Plan: The Resilient Woman’s Guide to saying NO to Negative Self-Talk and YES to Personal Power (publication date 10.28.14)
The Resilient Woman: Mastering the 7 Steps to Personal Power (2013)
The Tyranny of Thinness

Let’s face it, you are plagued by messages to be thin, everywhere you look, in virtually everything you hear: Thin is in. Thin is desirable; thin is beautiful; thin is enviable.

Implied in each one of these messages whether they are a digitally altered image, a new diet product, or a new diet plan, is that if you are not thin, then you are the dreaded – fat!

Yes, if you do not fit the newest definition of thin, for whatever reason — whether you’ve just had a baby, and gained weight, even if you are Kim Kardashian; or if you decided to eat a more regular diet as Lady Gaga did, gaining thirty pounds as a result, your weight gets noticed. If you’re famous enough, you’ll even make headlines, as opposed to just receiving snide comments at the office.

Even if your weight fluctuations don’t attract that much attention, except by you, they tend to be the stock by which you judge your own worthiness. Your weight is noted in a critical inner commentary – which I call girly thoughts– captured on your own inner message board, making BIG news, no pun intended, as in “OMG, I’ve gained three pounds this weekend!”

How Thin is Thin Enough?

Even models struggle with the need to be thin. But sometimes crises can be an opportunity as it was for Robyn Lawley. She learned to fight back.

Be prepared to be shocked as you watch 6’2”, size 12, plus size model, Robyn Lawley on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Yes, you have that correct, size 12 is now a plus size. Learn how Robyn dealt with being called fat. How she fended off the criticism that she looked liked a pig – (whoever said this must not have seen her).

Loving Your Body

She handled this in a way that may inspire you. She decided to tell herself that she loves her body. It worked for her and it can work for you. Watch her astonishing interview with Ellen:

The Power of Positive Affirmations

You can do what she did. When you hear yourself saying a negative girly thought such as you’re a loser for gaining weight, you can tell yourself that — you love your body. And you can even single out parts of your body for extra love, and say:
• I love my strong hips.
• I love my tummy that says I’ve been a mother.
• I love my chin that has supported me through so much.
• I love my cushy bottom.

The result, you will begin to feel better about yourself by fighting your negative self-talk, your girly thoughts, as they begin, instead of letting them settle in and take up so much room in you head.

Now, what can be the loss in doing this?

If you enjoyed this article, please subscribe to my blog and you’ll never miss a post! It’s easy: Just enter your email address on the right side of this page, just below “Recent Posts” or by clicking here:

You may manage your subscription options from your profile.


And please know that I’ll never sell, share, or rent your contact information—that’s a promise!

Patricia O’Gorman, PhD, is a psychologist and resiliency coach, and an international speaker known for her warm and funny presentations. She has worked extensively with women and children of alcoholics in private practice with an emphasis on trauma. She also serves on the Board of the NYS Coalition Against Sexual Assault, previously directed a rape crises center as well as the Division of Prevention for the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. She founded the Department of Prevention and Education for the National Office of the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (NCADD), national office, worked extensively in senior management in child welfare, and is a cofounder of the National Association for Children of Alcoholics. The Girly Thought 10 Day Detox Plan: The Resilient Woman’s Guide to saying NO to Negative Self-Talk and YES to Personal Power is her ninth book; others include The Resilient Woman: Mastering the 7 Steps to Personal Power, Healing Trauma Through Self-Parenting, The Lowdown on Families Who Get High, Dancing Backwards in High Heels, and 12 Steps To Self-Parenting.  She invites you to visit her website:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.